Recently , for the past 4 days , it has been a very rough on me and everyone who is affected by it .
I have been emotionally unstable and maybe not many are aware of it but it think its fine . If many didnt know , besides blood , im afraid of death . Okay many are , but Im somebody who isnt cable of holding it on my own because its too much on my own. Last year december was one of a those very truamatic events I ever witness myself. It really affected me on the way How fast time flies and people just perish like that. I witness somebody drowing in the pool, maybe it wasnt even drowning , he just laid there, and then , the time of death was announced . Very trumatic that it kinda affected the way i looked many things in life different. Nope I dont blame God I got to experience such unfortunate event . But up till this day , my cell mates and I are still wondering what could be the reason for this ?Was God trying to bring an across a Message ? So you are probably wondering what happen recently , My aunty passed away out of the blues. she was fighting cancer according to what I heard for almost 10 years. Yes, all the trumatic feelings are back and I felt very loss. My parents have never brought me to any funeral . Guess they didnt want me to be too affected by it. But what I felt was more of being affected not even being there . Was I close? quite. Quite only whaat , many would wonder . Yes true but , what came to my mind more importantly was How Salavation wasnt brought to her even before we knew how time was ticking fast . Maybe it was difficult Because Her family wasnt a christian to begin with . Her adopted daughter was a chinese muslim convert. Maybe I dont know how to put in anyway but yes. It was tough on me . I couldnt do anything since I was supposed to be focusing on my camp unify prep and my exams. It was just distracting. I couldnt sleep and sometimes she just come into my dream and I feel scared . I kinda miss her . I was either overeating or eating too little these few days . I felt so many emotions rushing thru and i dont know what to do . everytime I try to explain to my friends , I end up crying so badly no matter how hard I try to hold back. the pain was unbearable for sure . Today My dad just got back from the cremation in Penang This morning and He just went to work. He must have it more harder than me since its his biological sister. He seems like he didnt sleep well and couldnt do alot of things too . I could see How His eyes were swollen prob from too much of crying. As I typed this very down post, I just Pray for a touch of healing and peace in us. In this very dry seasons in the mist of our hectic schedule , I pray for all my relatives that they will keep to continue to keep the faith that He is faithful . He definitely heard us and Im very sure of it . I pray for His way to work in this situation Because He can move the mountains If only we Believe . I pray that Ill get better and overflowing peace and assurance from You oh Lord. I pray that my brother isnt badly afffected by it because I know he is bottling up to be okay since he knows he cant be affected having his Ns around . I just Pray for Him to work on us Lord. I'll just like to end this post with a verse that was shared to me when the december incident happen from my cellmate
My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees - Psalms119:71
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I pray for you to speak to me regarding this situation and if this was to be related to be anything u want me to know .
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